Hitch 4: Observations on Breakfast Cereals and Fruit Bats


Cough. Hack. Sneeze. Fart. Wheeze. Snot.

So rang forth the sounds of your intrepid Jawbone crew during this glorious fourth hitch. Down to four members, we decided it would be the most opportune time to become ill. No one was spared. Disease ran rampant through the camp; even our most wonderful overlord began to suffer from cold-like symptoms during the last days. Nevertheless, we knew in our deepest of hearts that incursions simply don’t fix themselves.

Before we were able to trek our way into Jawbone, we had the opportunity to engage in a bit of Thanksgiving outreach as the crew teamed with the Rands crew to hand out permits in the Rand Mountain Management Area. The sound of OHV engines filled the air in what can only be described as a mythical lost symphony. After reaching out with our outreach, we were free to venture to our home away from home and get back to what we do best.

What we do best is mulch until we drop and plant the most realistic bushes in the world. I don’t want to brag or anything, but we are pretty darn good at what we do. The added challenge for this hitch was the introduction of erosion control into our daily vernacular. Josh and I were charged with the task of building two chevrons into the side of a hill climb to prevent our bushes from washing away down the hill in the event of rain. Despite having only four people, we managed to complete six incursions and restore over 1100 meters squared. The added bonus was that on the morning of day seven, with Amelyne and Josh both in town and Karina having trouble with her fallopian tubes, it was just Emily and I wandering the desert with confused looks. If you have ever tried to do a stretch circle with two people, you will understand our state of mind.

Lighter notes of the hitch included a visit from Danny of BLM fame to checkup on the piece of obsidian that was found. It turns out that Danny was able to find about twelve other artifacts in addition to the obsidian which is enough to designate it a site. If I can toot my own horn for a bit, I would like to mention that I found the obsidian and will have my name placed in the site records as the discoverer. In addition to showing us all the found artifacts, Danny regaled us with tales of bears on Owens Peak.

Speaking of Owens Peak, they were in a bit of a pickle after some wind or maybe demons turned their green monster into the best flag north of Argentina. It turns out that flags don’t make the best of spaces to cook meals in, so they packed their belongings and hike all the way to Jawbone. In reality they may have not hiked, but I think the story is more entertaining if you pretend that’s the way it was. Anyways, we welcomed the Owens crew into Jawbone in the late afternoon of day seven. They were greeted with the naked, painted bodies of five Jawboners engaging in a ritualistic show of intimidation. We wanted them to know that they weren’t in Owens Peak anymore. Just kidding, sort of.

The following day, we Boners finally saw what it was like to work as a full crew and to be honest the magnificence of it was almost too much to bear. We were able to split into pods and work on two separate incursions in addition to finishing the previous area we had been working on. Meals, laughs, jokes and farts were shared as we crammed twelve people into our white wall. Don’t believe what the people say about the Owens crew, they’re an alright sort of folk.

That’s hitch four in the books. I’ll call it a success and if anyone wants to disagree, it’s pistols at dawn.

10-4 good buddy, 10-4