Mr. Beatbox’s Investigation of Intruders
I have come to report to you all that the two legged creatures have arrived and invaded our territory, once again. Before the sun reached its peak, five had arrived. As the overseer of the colony, I stationed in my hiding place and watched the giant, two-leggeds move about, carrying strange objects transforming into a green triangle-like home on the far south, close to the rocks. I was amazed by their progress and I decided to stay and observe more of their lifestyle.
The sun was setting, the moon was rising and the giants started to gather in the green Thing. I couldn’t understand their language. I stayed hidden in the darkness of the corner until the savory smells overtook me and I couldn’t control my urges to roam around for bits of food fallen on the ground. Luckily, none of them spotted me and I made my way back to my station until the light went out and the giants left. I was so curious about the giants that for the next couple of days I snuck myself into their strange-moving hugabaloo to keep track of their activities and whereabouts, this continued for about a week.
I moved everywhere they went and watched them pull out dead vegetation to place in holes on about four different sites in various locations. That they never noticed my presence, even still, amazed me and I decided to remain longer to watch them. One day they stayed at their basecamp to hike around our home. I was afraid they would find our colony, afraid that they were searching for us. But as I sat up high in their packs, out of their sight, I was satisfied to see that they were either doing a poor job of finding us, or they were looking for something else.
I mustered the gumption to accompany the giants in their hugabaloo to a distant land I had never before seen. In this foreign world, resembling in many ways our own, the giants conducted the same activity of collecting dead and some alive-dead vegetation for two or three more days.
As an aside, I had seen them throughout this period using a strange item, black and yellow, that made noises and that the giants stared at arbitrarily throughout the day. I’ve no notion of what this strange item is, but I didn’t want to know or to touch it in case it would cause us all some sort of crazy bad-luck.
After seven days, I sat in my dark corner of the green Thing, as always awaiting the arrival of my chance at an evening meal, when the voices began to soften.
The smells of the delicious food began to arise and the air became calm.
It was dark and silent in the green Thing so I made my way out in the open.
Suddenly there was a flash of light, and a voice from a giant, and I scurried back to my hiding place. Once again silence fell and I cautiously returned into the opening. A sudden flash of light blinded me, a high pitched scream deafened my ears. I was stunned, trapped in place for an excruciating moment awaiting my certain demise. I snapped back into consciousness and moved swiftly from the light, only to see the giant standing right in front of me.
I took a deep breath and stayed calm curious of their next move.
But the giant stood in the same exact place for a couple of minutes. I slowly walked up to the giant to show him I wasn’t afraid and made contact with the giant’s fuzzy hind leg.
I could sense happiness and joy.
I have come to confirm that these giant creatures are friendly and interesting. Ultimately there was no harm done to our home and I was never threatened.
– Mr. Beatbox
Mr. Beatbox, a Kangaroo Rat, is regarded highly in his community for his fearless brand of investigative journalism, and is known and loved by the DRC Wilderness team.
Mr. Beatbox is a regular contributor to the New Yorker, and has been featured on This American Life and Fresh Air.