*Please read in “Jersey Mom” accent.*
Desert Weird
Okay, gather round, gather round… not too close! Geez, yah almost gave me a heart attack. Alright so I’m gonna tell yah story. What kinda story? Don’t interrupt me and I’ll tell yah.
So, my story is about a crew of young people. Yeah! Young, yah know, early twenties, my age. Well anyway… my story is about a crew of young people living in the desert! I know what you’re thinking…weird. Well don’t jump the gun ‘cause that is exactly what I’m gonna talk about. Desert weird.
So, there’s this guy who pull up and comes out with a bunch of dogs. He’s callin’ them by names like “Fatty-Boy”. Well he comes out towards the crew, and yah know what he says? He says, “Hey, what do yah think all that white stuff is up there”? And yah know what the crew says? The crew says, “Uh…I think its gypsum”. Well, he keeps talking like he didn’t hear them and says, “Looks like sand”. So the man goes on up to the “sand” while the crew starts inspecting the fence that blocks off a wash. Well, before they start hiking the man is back and yah know what he says? He says, “Want to see something I got in my trunk”?
…
I know what you’re thinking, this guy with the dogs…red flags, right? Those young people must have walked away! The man with the dogs is a weirdo, crazy man, a straight up lunatic. Well, to tell yah the truth. Yah know what I think? I think, back in the beginning of these young peoples’ season, when they first got to the desert they would have thought the same thing. But it has been almost 6 months… 6 months in the desert!
So, yah know what the crew says? They says, “Sure”! Now before yah freak out I’ll tell yah what happened. Yah see, the man was an inventor. He showed them his skateboard he made. He burned in it all sorts of designs. Snakes were eating lizard tails; there were lobstas, the whole shoot and shebang! Now, I know what you’re thinking. This whole situation is just flat out weird. And to yah it might be, but for these young people this was just another day. That man is just your normal, typical guy. How could they think that? I’ll tell yah! The desert changes yah. The longer yah stay, the weirder yah get.
It all started when their sole source of entertainment was throwing rocks at other rocks. They can spend ages looking at ants…giving them peace offerings, encouraging battles. They talk in accents ALL day. They have their own vocabulary. The weirdest thing of them all…they collect dead sticks and put them in the ground. Desert weird. It’s real.
The crew spent this hitch monitoring the effectiveness of previous restoration, and hiking some of the interior of the wilderness, investigating whether motor vehicles are being used illegally in designated Wilderness. We are happy to report it looks safe.
