So I’m watching the Oscars last night (has there ever been a less entertaining television broadcast?), and among the endless Coke and Cadillac commercials is a spot for CSI: Miami. Apparently, a man-eating grizzly bear is rampaging through the Everglades. Yeah, the Everglades.
The episode doesn’t air until tonight, but my guess is someone had a grizzly cub as a pet and later flushed it down the toilet. You know what happens then.
For all their majesty, bears don’t get a whole lot of respect from advertisers. The commercials where some Average Joe steps in to save the day only to reveal he’s no expert “but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night!� They started with a guy who heroically intervenes with a threatening grizzly. The genius probably grabbed a bear claw at the continental breakfast.
I was driving around the other night listening to some distant radio station and a “report†came on, citing an alarming number of human deaths resulting from bear attacks and the introduction of new government anti-bear policies. The announcer then ‘fessed up and stated the deaths were actually smoking related and wondered why the feds – so eager to legislate other solutions – were AWOL on smoking. Maybe next time they visit Washington, Congress should stay at a Holiday Inn Express.
I didn’t stay up for the entire Oscar telecast, but I did hear this morning Al Gore took best documentary for “An Inconvenient Truth.†And the polar bears whose habitat is melting away by the minute? Not even a best supporting nomination. Wait till they land at South Beach…