Season 1, Episode 3: Cashin’ OUT!

By: Michael Marchetti

Hellllllllllllllllo Everybody!!!! Guess what?! The CWPP team is finally done compiling reports for District 12! Wahoo! After three grueling months during the dog days of summer, we have interviewed, drove, assessed, entered data, and made the dopest maps “at the same same time” that any North Carolina Forest Service rep. has ever seen. Our maps are so awesome even a fire wouldn’t dare burn them to ashes, because it’s impossible! No liiiiiiiiiieeeeeee (Drake voice). Well that probably is a lie, but we’ve put so much work into this project it is ridiculous. Here on the CWPP team, we like to think of ourselves like Destiny’s Child, in that we cater to our district rangers instead of our significant others. Except instead of fixing their doo-rags, running their baths or fixing their cufflinks we provide them with maps, assessments, and perfect reports. We’re so good at what we do that the county district rangers are always asking if they can get a refill of our good work, positive attitudes and attention to details.

The completion of District 12 is pretty bittersweet. Bitter in the sense that we don’t get to hang out with a district ranger named Pink Floyd and his assistant Danny- who not only provided us with a television to watch movies on, but also provided us with his vast knowledge of fast food places you can only experience in the Carolinas. Never did we ever think one could purchase an entrée, a drink and, not one, but TWO corndogs and sides for $5.00. We knew when we saw Danny it was always BO’ Time. He was also one of the most helpful rangers by showing us around our new home of Statesville, NC and always offering us help whenever we needed it. We’ll also miss Eddie, the district ranger from Mecklenburg County, who could always get the interviews flowing with the fire departments with ease. We would ask questions calmly, and sometimes not get a response, but then bolstering Eddie would come in and say “IF YOU HAD A FIRE RIGHT HERE, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?!!” The response of the fire chiefs was amazing. Eddie is just one of those people you have to respond to because he’s just that awesome.

Leaving District 12 is sweet in the sense that we don’t have to sit through rush hour Charlotte traffic anymore and venture through modern suburbia. Fortunately for this team, we don’t get road rage, instead we ROAD RAGE! A.K.A. jam out to sweet tunes provided by Power 98, Charlotte’s number one for blazing hip-hop and R&B. It also just feels good to complete a district and know that we provided these fire districts with a little bit more information in case a major wildfire does strike in the area. It’s also good to know that these reports may provide much needed funding to some of these fire departments, who could use the extra equipment. It always feels good to work really hard on a project, complete it, and then get positive feedback.

Now we are off to the land of mountains, fresh air and thiiiiiick country accents in District 2. Sorry, District 12, we are cashing out. The CWPP team is geared up to take on the wilder side of North Carolina and boy, are we excited! Like many rappers we have heard on Power 98, Charlotte’s number one for blazing hip-hop and R&B, CHUUURRRRRCHHH!!! PREACH!

P.S.
Alex and Marchetti saw a dump truck of raw rotisserie chickens dumped in the middle of a major road in Monroe, NC. It was crazy and smelled terrible. Just thought you all should know.